Thursday, March 29, 2012

The loveliest of memories

The loveliest of memories

Will never fade away,

Though years may come and go

The joy they brought will stay.

Special times once shared

With loved ones long since gone.

We hold them in our heart's,

Their memories living on.

The loveliest of memories

Mean more than words can say

For when we feel downcast

They will chase all cares away.

I have memories from when I was about four years old. I know this is true because we moved when I was four years old and I still have memories from the house I was born in. I remember my first day of school when I was six years old like it was yesterday. Ask me what I did yesterday and I may have to take a minute or two to think about it. They tell me that is not a good sign. LOL

For most of my life I probably dwelled more on the bad memories than I did the good ones. I guess I have always been a slow learner, it took me until I was in my sixties to finally realize that those bad memories are just that. I finally realized that I can't back up and change any of the things that I perceived as bad. I have written about this before but will mention it again in the hope that maybe others will get the same meaning from it as I did.

One morning years ago Joan had one of those calendars on the counter in the kitchen that gave you the quote for the day. One morning I got up early to go make the coffee. When I pulled off the one from the day before the one for the new day said, for every bad thing that happens to us on the average of 18 to 25 good things happen to us, why do we dwell on the one bad thing rather than the good things.

I remember stepping back and saying out loud, Wow that is just what I do. I said things can be going good for me and I will let one bad thing not only ruin my day but maybe ruin a couple of days. If you asked my Dear Joan about that I am sure you would get a big AMEN. LOL

I decided right then to try and reverse that trend. When some thing upsets me I try to drive it out of my mind and for the most part I do that. I am not saying it is easy but you can do it.

Those of you that read my E-Mails and my BLOG I am sure have noticed that I am big on quotes, especially positive ones. My hope is that maybe one of the quotes will affect them just like the one did for me.

Every one I send I think to myself I can't give this advice if I don't follow it myself so it helps to keep me pumped up also.

I have also written about when you are feeling down get out some old pictures of happy and joyful times, it almost always will help you get out of your funk.

Due to circumstances I am estranged from a few people I loved in my life. I have no bad feelings toward them as a matter of fact I use the same philosophy when I think about them, I only remember the fun and good times I had with them for many years. I do not dwell on the reason we became estranged because that also is one of those things that being upset about it is not going to change it.

One regret I do have is that I wish I had adopted this philosophy much earlier in my life, don't waste time dwelling on the past that you cannot change, point your life toward the future, that you can change for the better.

Love And Happy Easter Wishes To You All.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Follow Up To My January BLOG about Aging Gracefully

In January of this year I wrote on my BLOG about how to grow older gracefully. I came across some excerpts from a book entitled ( A Long Bright Future ) written by a lady named Laura Carstensen, a professor of psychology at Stanford University which I found to be very interesting, Thought I would share a few of them with you.

She says happiness is not the domain of the young. In fact quite the contrary. According to research on age and happiness older people tend to be happier than young people.

She writes, with the exception of dementia-related diseases, which by definition have organic roots, mental health generally improves with age. Older people generally focus on the essential, don't sweat the small stuff, and enjoy their freedoms when their children leave the nest. She says the empty nest syndrome is atypical, she says children make parents very happy when they are living somewhere else. LOL

She says ( the paradox of aging ) has to do with our perspectives changing. Simply put the less time we have the more we cherish it. I totally agree with that. Things that used to mean a lot to me no longer do, but the things I really care about I care a lot more about them now. The age group that is the most unhappy, stressed, and prone to depression is the 20 something demographic.

Having a good life is as important as having good genes when it comes to age and wellness. Common sense prevails here, if you smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for decades, you'll pay later, same for drug or alcohol addiction and lack of exercise.

( Aging is inevitable ) how you age is not. We have to learn to deal with aging, death is the only alternative.

Having reached the ripe old age of 71 1/2 I feel I can add a few things to her report. LOL

I believe our back ground and circumstances may have influenced who we are but we are responsible for who we become.

All through our lives we make friends, you lose some and some stay on and never leave your side. Old friends are like old wine,they become better with age. So many of my old friends I consider them like siblings.

Every one wants to be happy, no one wants to be in pain but remember you can't have a rainbow with out the rain.

You can not choose the people around you, but you can choose the people you want to be around.

Life is like a flowing river, full of opportunities. It is up to you whether you stand with a bucket or a spoon.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person

Having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile..

When your grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.