Friday, May 29, 2009

My thoughts on the secret of a happy marriage

I don't know if our IQ's change or we get any smarter as we get older but I do believe we get wiser. So since I am old, LOL I am going to tell you what I think is the secret to a happy marriage. Sure all the tried and true things you have heard all your life are important, respect, being truthful, remembering all the important dates, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. But after being married to Bubba for 39 years and coming up on 8 with Joan I have come to the conclusion that the most important thing is for both parties to be crazy. It is a given that I am crazy but so was Bubba and so is Joan.

A crazy person and a sane person is a bad mix but if both are crazy it makes it so much easier. Case in point the other night Joan and I were watching TV and this guy came on with ear rings, nose rings, lip rings etc. and tatoos, she knows that is not my thing, ( no offense to guys that like that sort of thing, it's just not my thing ). She said Joe you need to get some ear rings. I said most of the people that know me know that is not my thing so I said if I die before you load me up with body piercing and tatoos for my viewing.

This is were the crazy lady spoke up, she said there will be no viewing, I will have your ass creamated. LOL Then she got serious and said she does not want to be viewed when she passes away. She said I hope the people that care about me I will see and hear from while I am still alive so they don't have to see me when I am dead. We both had a good laugh and then my mind started working.

When I was a kid in West Virginia we listened to a lot of radio as we didn't have TV. There was a blue grass group called The Carter Family we listened to a lot and my Mom loved the song they did called Give Me The Roses While I Live, every time she heard that song she would say that is so true.

These are the words to that song:

Wonderful things of folks are said When they have passed away,
Roses adorn the narrow bed Over the sleeping clay,
Give me the roses while I live Trying to cheer me on,
Useless are flowers that you give After the soul is gone,
Let us not wait to do good deeds Till they have passed away,
Now is the time to sow good seeds While here on earth we stay,
Kind words are useless when folks lie Cold in a narrow bed,
Don't wait till death to speak kind words, Now should the words be said.

Give Me Roses While I Live - The Carter Family

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Five Years Since Martha's Stroke

May 9, 2004 was the day Martha had her devastating stroke. It doesn't seem possible that it has been that long but it sure has been. Five years since she has been able to talk, can you only imagine having 5 years of things on your mind and wanting to share them with every one and not being able to. It is very frustrating for her, she tries so hard to tell you what she wants you to know.

She has a hard time getting around as she has little use of her right leg and no use of her right arm. It is a chore just getting her dressed and ready to go any where. So she doesn't get out very much, mostly just when she has to go to the doctors.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her mind, she is totally aware of every thing that goes on around her. She remembers bithdays, anniversaries, her Mom's date of death, and every thing that is important to her. She comprehends every thing but basically can only answer yes and no questions.

She loves information about any thing from the past, just simple things like telling her that I ran into so & so and they said to tell you hello will bring a big beaming smile to her face. I tell her every thing I know about her friends and family both good and bad, if someone passes away I let her know, as well as any good things I know about them. In other words I treat her just the same as I did before she had her stroke.

She just loves it when she gets company, phone calls, cards, letters, or any thing like that. She really doesn't hear from many people from her past, even though she can't reciprocate, she is just so happy when she hears from any one.

Through all she endures she still seems happy mosy of the time, always smiling, even after she gets frustrated when she can't make you understand what it is she wants you to know, she will just say oh well, and smile.

I jokingly tell her all the time three things that haven't chaged with her are, she is still stubborn, she still wants what she wants, and at times can be demanding, so God bless Jimmy, Jessica, and especially her Mother-in-Law Anita, who has endured a lot of her own health problems for all the care and love they give her and their patience.

I hate to ask for favors and the one time I did it didn't get very good response, when it was her and Jimmy's 25th wedding anniversary I asked if since she doesn't have a lot of pleasures would people send her a card, a phone call or any thing, thank you so much for the ones of you that did but I am going to ask again.

July 21, Martha will be fifty years old, a very special milestone in any ones life and any thing the people who knew and loved her can do to honor her on that special day will be greatly appreciated. Wow how can some one as young as me have a 50 year od daughter, LOL

Love and blessings to you all, Joe

Sunday, May 17, 2009

From March 27, 2009 until now

Griffin was born March 27, 2009. He has been through a lot for a little guy.He has been checked, rechecked, tested and retested. The latest was on Friday May 15, his blood count was low so they gave him a blood transfusion, it took about 3 hours to give him about a third of a unit of blood. The doctors think he is doing fine actually, he continues to put on weight and is now over 7 pounds.

His Daddy has been sick with flu like symptoms, since they didn't want to expose him to that his Mommy and Carter and him have spent the weekend with us. Joan has been a very busy Nana and loving every minute of it. He is doing so good they even left him with me to baby sit for a couple of hours while they went swimming, first time any one other then his two grandmothers has watched him. Lucky for me he was very good and I didn't have to change any diapers. LOL

Griffin then and now

Loss Of A Good Friend

It has been about two weeks now since the loss of another good friend.. Since then my mind has been working over time contemplating about it. At my age losing good friends sadly has been happening more often .As my dear friend Butch said to me, Joe sadly I am going to more funerals than weddings.

Frank Strawderman and I met in 1957 so the time that we knew each other was 52 years. Frank was married to Jenny who was the sister to Louise who for the rest of this story will be referred to as " Bubba" the name that most people affectionately knew her as.

Frank and Jenny stood up for us when Bubba and I were married in 1959. So we became brother-in-laws because we married sisters but we became and remained friends because we totally enjoyed and loved each other. When I think about my past and the great times I have experienced a few friends like, Butch, Jimmy, George, Mike,Mel, Ron, Keith and of course Frank come to mind as those that have been part of some of my greatest and fun memories.

It took me eight pages to list my memories of Frank to his widow Linda .As I told her in a follow up note I actually thought of a lot more after I had mailed it to her. LOL

Frank's health was not to good the last few years of his life but he never let it stop him from having a good time and enjoying himself. The song "My Way" could have been written for Frank as that's just what he did, lived his life his way and best of all he did it to the very end. In my last conversation with him he said Joe, I still drink, I still smoke, and I still chase women, the only bad part he said was when he caught the women he didn't know what to do with them. LOL

In my conversations with Frank I know he was not afraid of dying. We often said to each other the people most afraid to die are the ones who have never lived, not the case with Frank because he sure lived. Rest In Peace my friend.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ever since Griffin was born I have been asked by numerous people how is Carter accepting his little brother. They want to know if he is jealous. Check out these three pictures and see what you think.