What Is Love?
The definition in the dictionary is:
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, a child, or friend.
The difference between loving someone and being in love with someone is that when you love someone it means you have caring feelings for them. When you're in love with someone it means you still have caring feelings, but you also have feelings as if you're warm inside and you feel like that person is your soul mate.
When Bubba passed away in 1998 I had great support from so many family and friends and I felt loved. Shortly after Bubba passed away it was Easter. I lived next door to Bubba's brother Harry and his wife Maria. On Easter Sunday there was a gathering of family and friends there to celebrate Easter. Here I was among a crowd of people laughing and having fun a very joyful time and I had never felt so alone. I excused myself, went back over to my house and sat there alone and kept thinking what the heck is wrong with me.
Then it hit me, I still have people who love me but I no longer have someone who is in love with me. At that point I was wondering if I would ever have that feeling again.
Lucky for me I met Joan, fell in love with her and again had the feeling that some one was in love with me also.
Growing up with my Mom and Dad and my Aunts and Uncles I always had their support when I needed it. If I was hurt or sick I always felt secure that they would take care of me and protect me. But they never said I love you. You knew they did, they just never said it.
Bubba said it was the same way in her family. Her Mom was a very nice and caring lady, her Dad could be very gruff and she said she never heard her family say I love you either.
It never stopped her from saying it, she would say it all the time. When she would say to me I Love You, I would say dumb things like yea, love you too, not I Love You Too. I would sign her birthday and Christmas cards, Love, Joe, not I love you. One day she asked me why don't you ever say I love you first. She said you always make me say it first. I said well you know I love you and she said I know you do but I sure would like to hear it more often.
In 1984 she had her first heart attack. I had been trying hard to get in the habit of telling her before that happened but when I realized I came close to losing her, from that point on I never had a problem telling her I Love You.
As an adult when I would go back to West Virginia to visit my Aunts and Uncles and cousins they would always reach out to shake hands with me. After that happened a couple of times when they would reach out their hand I would grasp it and pull them in to me and say I love you. After a few times that happened they started saying I love you too.
Men seem to have a hard time telling another man they love them. Two of my closest friends Butch and Jimmy who I always thought as more than just friends, they were my brothers from different Mother's. When we would get a little inebriated at a party we would say to each other I Love You Man. One time we were at a party and I said loud enough for every one to hear, I have not had a drink yet so I want to tell Butch and Jimmy while I am still sober, I Love You.
What defines a good person and a good friend?
A few questions I always ask myself about what makes a good person and a good friend.
Are they as good a friend to me as I am to them?
Am I proud to have them in my life?
Do I feel blessed after spending time with them?
Are they a positive person? Negative people drag you down.
Do you have the same interest as them?
Is it someone can communicate with?
I look for people with a good heart.
A person is special when you carry a soft warm spot in your heart for them.
A special person is someone that after you spend time with them you can't wait until you see them again.
A man is special if he is a good son, a good husband, a good father, and a good friend.
A woman is special if she is a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother, and a good friend.
If we are lucky enough to have those type of people in our lives why is it so hard for us to tell them we love them?
As I am a only child I am blessed to have so many brothers and sisters in my life.
A bell is no bell until you ring it,
A song is no song until you sing it,
And love in your heart,
Wasn't put there to stay.
Love isn't love
Until you give it away.