This was a question a family member asked me in an E-Mail.

This will probably be the last question he will ever ask me. LMAO

This was his question how do you seem to stay Up Beat all of the time. I admire you for having this great outlook about you. You never seem to get down - how do you do that? Believe me I have tried.

Wow That is a good question. First let me say I haven't always been this way. A few things that have happened to me in the past few years have brought me to this point in my life.

I will try to explain, they may not be in the order that they occurred but each and every one of these things have totally changed my life and the way I view things.

When my Dear Bubba passed away I was not doing very well. One of her dear friends that started in kindergarten with her and went all through school with her said Joe would you mind if I give you a little advice. I said of course not. She said number one Bubba would not want you to be sad and depressed like you are. She said as you know Bubba was one of the most fun loving people who ever lived. She said instead of dwelling on the last year or so of her life dwell on the entire 40 years you knew her. She said remember the good times, the happy times, the times you laughed your butt off together. I said you are so right she would not want me to be sad, she would want me to go on with my life. So when I think about her I only remember the good times.

If you notice I use a lot of quotes in my BLOG and in my E-Mails. I do this so that I can hope that some one else may be moved by one as I was by one.

Joan had one of those perpetual calendars by the sink in the kitchen. When you tore the page off from the previous day it gave you a new quote for the new day. One morning early I was up first and I went out to get the coffee started. The new quote said " For Every Bad Thing That Happens To Us On The Average Of Between Eighteen To Twenty Five Good Things Happen To Us, Why Do We Dwell On The One Bad Thing Instead Of The Good Things. " I remember it like it was yesterday, I actually stepped back and said out loud, Wow that is just what I do. I told myself not only do I let these little things ruin my day sometimes I let it ruin more than one day. I said to myself I am going to try to follow that advice.

I took a big sheet of paper and drew a line right down the middle and at the top I wrote the good things that happened to me today and on the other side I wrote the bad things that happened to me today.

Then I would list the things good and the things bad. After a couple of weeks I noticed that for me the good side always dwarfed the bad side.

Although I knew The Serenity Prayer by heart I had a plastic card with the saying on it and carried it in my wallet. When things would start to bug me I would take it out and read it to myself a couple of times.

Another big thing that changed my outlook on life was Janet's tragic accident. It's hard to believe but this past Christmas Eve was ten years since that happened. Her, Chris and Christopher stopped by the house that day. They were going up to the other Grandparents house in Apopka for Christmas Eve and coming back the next morning to spend Christmas Day with us. She was so excited. Joan said Christmas was always her favorite time of the year. She said Bye Mom, Bye Joe, gave us both a big hug and a kiss and said Merry Christmas, I Love You and we will see you tomorrow. One hour later she was dead on the Florida Turnpike.

A couple of weeks later Joan, Me, and Joan's lawyer went to the trooper barracks to talk to the trooper that investigated the accident. He was trying to spare us as much as he could about the details. Joan was relentless with her questions. When he tried to avoid answering her she just kept probing for more information. She more or less forced him to tell her more than he wanted to.

We went to the yard where the car was towed to. At the scene of the accident Christmas presents and other things were strewn all over the highway from the car rolling over and over. They had just picked every thing up and threw them in the car.

The lawyer Eric and I got out of the car to go over to Janet's car. She started to get out and one of the rare times I was ever stern with her I told her to stay in the car and not come over there. I said matter of fact don't even look over there. I looked over at her a couple of times and she was trying to look over any way. Thank God she did no come over. It was not a pretty sight.

For many nights after that she would wake up thrashing around in bed and crying. I would say what's the matter Babe and she was reliving the things she forced the trooper to tell her.

As time went by Thank God those nightmares finally went away. One morning after some time had passed we were setting at the breakfast table one morning. We talked about Venson her first husband, he passed away when her daughters were 17 and 13 years old.We talked about Janet and we talked about Bubba. We said from that point on we were going to get up every morning and try to make the best of each day. We said if we make it to tomorrow we will make the most out that day and so on and so on and that's what we do.

Another big turning point for me was Janet's Memorial Service. I did a eulogy for her. I did not know the church was making a audio tape of the service. When I heard it played back I said another big Wow, I realized I had said a lot of nice things about her I had never said to her. Sure I had told her I loved her, what a Great Mom she was, what a great Daughter she was, etc. but a lot of the other things I had never said to her. I have been on a mission ever since then to try not to leave many things unsaid. I make an extra effort to stay in touch with people, try to console them when they are down and just try every day to be positive, very hard to do when I am around so many negative people. I actually try to avoid negative people as much as I can but it can't be totally avoided. Just between you and me I try to stay away from two of the most negative people I know but it just can't be avoided. My experience dealing with negative people is that I cannot bring them up to my level, they try to bring me down to their level and I just won't allow myself let that happen.

Sorry if I jump around but things just keep coming to mind. I say this joking all the time but it actually is true, I have been very lucky that almost all my family and friends have been crazy that I have been around my entire life. Both of my wife's have been crazy. I have a hard time with sane people. LOL

One of Joan's favorite sayings which she says all the time is that life is all about choices. As you know her Father deserted her Mom, her and Chary when Joan was 12 years old. Of course you know what happened with Venson. Then her marriage to her second husband didn't work out. Then of course Janet. And in the last two or three years she has had some serious scary health problems. She says I have the choice to let it make me bitter or to be happy and she says I choose to be happy. I did a eulogy for Joan's Mother-in-Law,

Every thing I said in Dot's tribute I had said to her over the years, Thank You Lord For That.

I could keep going here but I hope you get the drift of why I am a very happy person, and of course there is Carter and Griffin, OMG I love them so much and they bring me more happiness than I could ever explain. I never want them to see me down trodden or saying negative things about them.

And my daughter Martha who goes through Hell every day of her life still smiles and most of the time happy. How can I let any of my little problems get me down when I see what she goes through.

What Bubba's friend told me to do by only thinking of the positive times of Bubba I have trained my mind to immediately replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. Not saying it's easy, but the more I do it the easier it gets.

I have talked about this a lot also, a great way to get out of a funk is to dig out old pictures of happy, fun, times. Again not saying it will work for every one but it works for me.

The only movies I go to have to be either funny or heart warming. I don't go to the ones with things being blown up, people being murdered, etc.

I also am lucky enough to have a lot of nutty friends. LOL I can call one of them and be laughing in just a couple of minutes.

And we try to stay busy. They say an idle mind is the Devil's work shop.

Or you can write a really long E-Mail, I know I feel better right now. LMAO

Wonderful Memorial Day Weekend With Carter & Griffin.

A few years ago Joan and I became members of The Hilton Travel Club. We have stayed at several of their resorts but our favorite one is The Parc Soleil in Orlando.

This was our third time to stay at this one.

There is so much to do there. Joan and Barb went grocery shopping and we went out to eat Sunday evening and that was the only time we left the resort.

We checked in Friday night and Saturday morning we went to the pool and spent about five hours there.

They have three pools, many hot tubs, store, activities center, access to computers ,restaurant, play ground, etc. Just a great place.

We were on the 11 TH floor and the view from our balcony was magnificence.

Carter and Griffin had so much fun, Mommy, Nana, & Papa had just as much fun as they did. LOL

Although we had to check out by 10:00 AM Monday we still had access to all the activities so we spent most of the day there again.

We will be going back there for the Labor Day weekend in September.

Just some of the pictures from our fantastic weekend.

                                          Saturday, Sunday, & Monday we literally spent hours
                                           in the pool.

                                          Mommy and her boys.

                                          Nana is such a trooper, she is so active with Carter
                                           & Griffin.

                                                   Here is Nana getting ready to hit the pool
                                                    from coming down the water slide.

                                                  You normally sit up coming down the slide
                                                    and enter the water feet first, Nana ended
                                                     entering the water flat on her back check out
                                                     the splash she made. LOL

                                        Griffin entered all the kids games, he was the youngest
                                         and the smallest one taking part.

                                          That's Carter in the orange shirt and Griffin beside
                                           him. This was the water baloon game. They passed
                                           the baloons while the music was playing, who ever
                                            had the baloon when they stopped the music was
                                            eliminated.  

                                        They started with over 20 kids, Griffin made it to
                                         when there was only 5 left. 

                                         Nana didn't want people to see her hair after she went
                                         under the water so Carter let her wear his cap, isn't
                                          she so cool. LOL

                                          We had to check out by 10:00 AM Monday so
                                           they rode down on the luggage carrier. LOL

                                            This is what we seen coming back into the resort
                                             Sunday evening coming back from dinner. It was
                                             a beautiful sight. 

Life Is All About Choices

After I met and got to know Joan she told me two very profound things. Joan has had a lot of tragedy in her life but those of you that don't know every thing about her would never know it. Always smiling, always positive.

Way back then she told me life is all about choices. She said it is up to all of us to choose if we want to be happy or sad. She said I choose to be happy.

I try to do that every morning but sometimes it is challenging. I was married to a woman before Joan that also chose to be happy.

So between the two of them I have spent over 50 years with two women whose choice was to be happy.

And at times I still struggle with it. But I keep trying. LOL

The other thing she told me was that she wanted to wear out, she never wanted to rust out. No chance of rust ever being able to settle on her, LOL

So when a friend sent me this E-Mail today even though I have read it before I am going to print it out and refer to it often.

Read this

LET IT REALLY SINK IN......

THEN

CHOOSE..

John is the kind of guy

you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive

to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were

any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the

employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up

and asked him, 'I don't get it!'

'You can't be a positive person

all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you

have two

choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can

choose to

be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each

time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to

learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone

comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can

point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it

is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every

situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how

people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad

mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I

reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my

own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice

about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard

that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a

communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of

intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When

I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna

see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him

what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The

first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born

daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had

two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to

live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.

He continued, '...the paramedics were great.

They

kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and

I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really

scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take

action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there

was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was

allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as

they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live.

Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the

skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude....I learned from

him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all,

is everything .

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about

itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Our Wonderful Mother's Day Weekend.

I hope every one had an enjoyable Mother's Day weekend. You have probably read where I have said I hated to see the weekend end, Well this was one of those weekends I hated to see end.

I can't imagine how it could have been any better. Friday Barbara, the boys Mom had a tea for the Mother's of the children in her class. Joan went to help her. She said it was wonderful. When she came home she brought Carter & Griffin home with her.

We got the slip and slide out, hooked up to the water and they had such a great time with it.

Saturday we took them to the Palm Beach Gardens Municipal water park. The pictures will tell the story. Hopefully every Grandchild has a Grandmother like Nana. No matter how tired she gets she just keeps going with the boys as long as they want to go. Great Great, four hours.

Home to rest, Griffin took a two and a half hour nap. We met Barb and Brett and the boys other Grandparents at a really nice restaurant for a wonderful Mother's Day evening.

Sunday morning it was off to church for a great sermon by Pastor Lucky.

Then we drove over to Sebring to spend Mother's Day with my daughter Martha, her husband Jimmy, their daughter Jessica and Martha's Mother-in-Law Anita. Another great visit topped off with a wonderful dinner.

Then we went by the cemetery where Bubba is buried to wish her a Happy Mother's Day also.

Now you can see why I hated to see the weekend end. LOL

This is Carter & Griffin's 73 year young Nana.

They adore their Nana and why shouldn' they?

                                           I
                                                 It's called a water park for a reason, water, water, every where.

Do many different ways to get wet.

                                                           Griffin is game for just about every thing
                                                            he wants to do every thing big brother does
                                                             which isn't always possible.

I say this quite often but it is so true, I know they

have fun bit Nana and I have just as much fun

as they do.

                                          When we got home he said he wasn't tires but he
                                          took a two and a half hour nap. LOL

If they ever bring the show Dennis The Menace back

Griffin could play the part.

                                           When this bucket fill up it dumps the water, got a picture
                                            just as Carter got the full bucket.

                                          Wow, so much fun.

A Tribute To My Beautiful Wife For Her Birthday

Today is my lovely wife's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is but she was born on March 30, 1940 LOL

I want to honor her on her birthday with a few of my thoughts as to what defines a good woman.

A good woman first is a good daughter. Joan was a wonderful daughter. She lost her father when she was twelve years old and her sister Chary was about one year old. Her mother being the bread winner of the family had to work a lot so Joan in addition to being a big sister also at times had to act as a mother. Her mother remarried and had a son Russell and another daughter Debby and Joan has always been there for them also.

There are so many things she did that made her a great daughter.

A good woman is a good wife. Joan married her child hood sweet heart. She went with him when he was drafted into the army. She always stood by him and after he got out of the army helped him become a very successful business man.

A good woman is a good mother. Her husband passed away when her daughters were 17 and 13 years old. She did a great job taking on the role of mother and father and developing a great relationship with her daughter Janet until her untimely death in a car accident on December 24, 2012 and still exists with Barbara. She was also their best friend.

A good woman is a good grandmother. She is a great Nana to Christopher, Carter & Griffin. And that is an under statement.

A good woman is a good friend. She has so many friends she loves and who love her. She has friends in all age groups. From small children to senior citizens. We were watching TV one night and they had this guy on who was covered with tattoos and had rings in his ears, his nose, his nipples and just about over his whole body. She said why don't you get some of those. She knows that is not my thing, " no offense to people who do it but it just is not my thing ". So I said if I die before you do get me some rings and tattoos to shock my family and friends at my viewing as they know it is not my thing and give them some thing to laugh about. She said there will be no viewing as I will have your a-- cremated. LOL

She then got serious and said if she goes before me she does not want a viewing. She said I hope the people I love and care about and love and care about me we will see and talk to each other up until that time.

So it gave me the idea for her 70 TH birthday to get in touch with a lot of her family and friends and ask them in lieu of gifts if they would write some things about what she has meant to them.

Well I knew she had a lot of friends but the response was overwhelming. The tributes just poured in from family and friends as to how much she had meant to them and how much they loved and admired her. No gifts could mean as much as that

A good woman is someone who has a lot of faith and acts on it, who is kind, gentle, and serves others. She puts her religious beliefs into action by going to church, ministering to others, " she is A Stevens Minister at our church " and living her life in accord with them.

A good woman is one that enjoys life and likes to have fun. She does that for sure, not only does she have fun but she makes things fun for any one around her.

A good woman is successful. She has held a variety of jobs in her life and has done well in all of them.

A good woman is someone who takes meticulous care of her appearance. She puts lipstick on and combs her hair to take the garbage can down to the street in case some one is walking by. LOL

A good woman is kind, always pleasing her family, she cooks a great meal, keeps a neat house, listens to the cares and woes of those she loves with out expecting any thing in return.

When I first started thinking of doing a BLOG I was given advice telling me I needed to keep them short, can't be done when I am telling a story.

I really could go on and on about Joan but I will close by saying what a great lady she is. She has had a lot of tragedies in her life but family and friends who know her would never know it by her actions. She never puts herself first, always putting family, friends and every body else, including lucky me first, every one before herself.

A great thing about a BLOG it gives me the chance to tell the world how much I LOVE HER AND RESPECT HER.

Great Day At First Presbyterian Church

Sunday morning March 10 Joan and I went to our Church, First Presbyterian Church in North Palm Beach, Florida for the 11:00 AM service

We had forgotten that the Indiana Wesleyan Choral Group from Indiana Wesleyan University was going to be performing at our Church today.

They joined with our choir to sing. They also did a few numbers on their own and they were great.

Our Pastor announced that they would be doing a full concert at the Church at 3:00 PM. We were so impressed with them we decided to attend the concert.

The group is led by Dr. Todd Guy who has been conducting them since 1986. He was the most energetic and exciting of any conductor I have ever seen. The energy of him and the entire group was unbelievable.

They performed as a group from the choir area, they sang from the balcony, they would leave the choir area and encircle the entire Church area, then back to the choir area off and on. All with precision and enthusiasm.

They had soloists, they sang in Kituba dialect, they sang two songs in Latin.

Some of the songs they sang were Hosanna, God is Near, Prayer of the Children, The Blood Will Never Lose It's power, A Mighty Fortress Is Our God, Fear Not, The Battle Of Jericho, Give Me Jesus, Ain't No Grave Can Hold My Body Down, He'll Make A Way, and ended with May The Good Lord Bless And Keep You. By this time the audience which was made up of people of all ages I think half of them were shedding tears. It was that emotional.

Sadly when we hear about the youth of today a lot of it is negative. Young men and women like these don't get the recognition they deserve. According to their information booklet IWU's goal is not merely to prepare students for a job, but for a calling. During their first year, students take a course called Introduction To Life Calling which prepares them begin to understand the destiny for which God is preparing them.

What a great day and what a great way to start getting us ready for the Easter Season.

Saturday night these wonderful young men and women were housed by members of our congregation which had to be a wonderful experience for our members

Saying Goodbye To 2012, Welcome To 2013

In talking to a lot of family and friends and reading a lot of posts on Facebook it

seems like a lot of people are anxious for 2012 to end, seems like their year wasn't

all that good and they are hoping 2013 will be better for them. We had a couple of serious health scares, Joan's Mother-in-Law Dot had to be admitted into a nursing home, and we had a few friends pass away this year but all that being said all in all 2012 has been a very good year for us.

All year long we have had the very happy privilege of being able to spend a lot of time with Carter and Griffin. For a few weeks in January and February and March both of them were playing soccer on Saturdays. We would go to Griffin's games, go for lunch and come back for Carter's games so Saturdays were a day we looked forward to.

We celebrated Carter's birthday with a lot of family and friends with a bowling party on January 27. A great time was had by all.

Then on February 1 the actual day of his birthday just the immediate family celebrated with him at Chee Burger, Chee Burger. For his first birthday that is were we went and have been back there every year since. A tradition was started and continues on.

Our first big medical scare was on February 12 when Joan was hospitalized with a ruptured appendix, She had surgery on February 13 and of course spent Valentine's Day in the hospital. She was released on February 20. She got her release from the surgeon on February 29. She had lots of visitors, many who brought food, lots of cards and lots of phone calls for which we were very grateful.

A cousin of mine passed away on February 28.

Barb and Brett moved into a different house in a very nice neighborhood, a beautiful location. wonderful place for the kids.

On March 4 Joan went back to work and that evening two friends that she grew up with in New Jersey came for a visit with their mates. We all had a great time while they were here.

Soccer season ended on March 24.

We celebrated Griffin's third birthday with family at Park Avenue Grill, a very fun evening was had by all.

On April 4 we went to the kids Easter Pageant at their school. On March 5 my old Shell station burned down. I went by to see it the next day, I just stood there for about 30 minutes and relived the whole 24 years we ran it.

We spent Easter Sunday at Barb's and the following Sunday went over to my daughter Martha's to celebrate Easter with them.

On April 17 I went to the Doctor who performed my back surgery for my one year later check-up. All the new X-Rays and MRI's showed every thing to be fine with my back. Boy April was a very busy month, we took Carter and Griffin to kids day at the South Florida Fairground, Joan and I had as much fun as they did.

We celebrated Barb's birthday on April 22, and went to Carter's science fair at his school on April 26. We were all so proud of him for the great job he did with his project.

May was also a very busy month. A few weeks after being diagnosed with neuropathy I swallowed my pride and started using a walking stick, I refuse to call it a cane. LOL Neuropathy is a progressive problem, our hope is that it will progress very slowly.

Wonderful day of celebration for Mother's day on May 13.

On May 23 we went to the kids school for the handing out of the awards they had won. Another proud day for Nana and Papa.

We spent Memorial Day Weekend at the Hilton Club Condo in Orlando with Barb, Brett, Cater & Griffin. Friends from Michigan that just happened to be in Orlando for that weekend came by and spent some fun time with us.

I started doing research for a book I am writing about what is was like to grow up in a small town in West Virginia during the forties and early fifties. I have had so much fun reliving those days with people I went to school with back there and other people who have lived there or still live there. I still have a lot more to write about but with every thing going on have put it on hold until after the first of the year. For only living there the first 13 years of my life I can't believe how many wonderful memories I have of that time.

We celebrated Father's Day on Saturday with Barb and Brett, Brett's family and Carter and Griffin with a great dinner at a wonderful water front restaurant and then drove over to my daughters on Sunday to celebrate with them.

Stayed busy with going to Griffin's swimming lessons and Carter's soccer camp.

Got word that my Brother-in-Law Bob and a dear friend Bob Pippen died. Joan and I have lost a lot of family and friends in the last couple of years.

Martha, Jimmy, and Anita came over to help us celebrate Martha's birthday over here, a couple of other friends stopped by as we celebrated at Applebee's.

A picnic for staff and family at Joan's place of work, Palm Beach Atlantic University, Labor day at Barb's, and Carter's soccer season started again.

On September 8 we had our second big medical scare of the year as Brett was admitted to the hospital with a burst colon. We watched the kids a lot as Barb was working and spending time at the hospital. On September 10 it was Grand Parents Day at the kids school. Another fun, fun, day.

Brett was released from the hospital on September 18 and felt well enough to join us at The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my birthday. Brett has made a great recovery and is back to work and seems to be doing fine. It was a very scary time.

On September 22 we celebrated Joan's Mother-in-Law Dot's 93 rd birthday. Sadly Dot has had some health set backs and is now living in an assisted living facility.

Joan and I left on October 18 for a great fall trip. We went to a family and friend reunion at dear friends George and Kim's in Waynesboro, Tennessee. Got to see lots of people we hadn't seen in years. Every one there had a great time.

Every where we went on this trip the fall colors just seemed to be at their best. It made for beautiful driving.

We then drove to Maryland and spent time with our dearest friends Bernadine & Butch.We stopped on the way to their place in Virginia at The Natural Bridge, a very enjoyable stop. Some of their children and grandchildren came by to see us.

On October 23 we were joined by some class mates form our high school days at a great Maryland seafood restaurant, great food and great fun reliving some wonderful times. That evening we were joined by Bill and Michelle, niece and nephew at another great restaurant for another wonderful time.

Then it was on to New Jersey to spend time with Joan's sister Chary and her husband Jimmy, and their sons and daughter- in- law. Got to spend time with a new little baby girl. Joan said it felt good to hold a little girl after three grandsons. LOL

Spent the day with Chary and Jimmy at a casino in Mt. Airy, Penn. We didn't have much luck but had a great time.

Spent Halloween with Carter and Griffin, Barb & Brett and a lot of Carter's classmates at a nice Halloween party at a friends house. A very fun evening.

Joan and I celebrated our 11th anniversary with a quiet dinner at one of my favorite restaurants P.F. Changs.

And the entire month of December although at times hectic has been wonderful. A faculty and staff dinner at the university.

Joan has worked her butt off this whole month, with decorating, cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping with just a little bit of help from me. LOL

Carter and Griffin's Christmas pageants were absolutely beautiful. Joan's sister Debbie and her husband Mike came for a great visit the week before Christmas which was wonderful.

Great Christmas programs at our church. Spending the day with Griffin at the Christmas sand displays, great lunch at a restaurant on the ocean with Joan's brother Russ and his wife Joan while Mike & Debbie were here, Christmas Day at Barb's. Russ and Joan came for a great dinner prepared by Joan, and then Saturday Martha and Jimmy and Anita came over to celebrate a belated Christmas with us. Sunday evening Joan and I went to see a hilarious movie, Parental Guidance with Bette Midler and Billy Crystal followed by a quiet dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. And New Year's Eve we have Carter and Griffin here with us so Mommy and Daddy could have a nice evening out. Having our little guys here to spend the end of the year with us is just like the icing on the cake.

So all in all even with a few set backs here and there 2012 has been a pretty darn good year for us.

We hope all our family and friends will experience wonderful things during 2013.

A Tribute To Our Dear Janet Who Was Killed In An Automobile Accident On Christmas Eve 10 Years Ago, 2002

Janet's tribute

The Dash
I read of a reverend who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard,
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile?
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash,
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Janet Lynn Johnson

April 22, 1969 December 24, 2002

Everyone knows about the tragedy that took place at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newton, Connecticut. Sadly Christmas Eve ten years ago, 2002 we learned first hand just how quickly a loved one can be taken from you.

Christmas Eve will be ten years since our beautiful Janet was taken from us due to a tragic automobile accident. In honor of her life we would like to tell you a little bit about how she spent her dash in words and pictures.

Joan and I started dating in 1999 so I only got to know Janet about three years but in that time I realized what a great girl she was. She was a wonderful daughter, sister, granddaughter, great granddaughter, niece, and a great friend to so many. But most of all she was a great Mother to the biggest joy in life, her son Christopher. You will see that

in the pictures of them together.

As most of you know the Good Lord looked out for me and led me to meet my beautiful wife Joan. Well lo and behold on Christmas Eve. 2002 her beautiful daughter Janet, her son Christopher and Christopher's father Chris were going up to Apopka, Florida to spend Christmas Eve with the other grandparents, Marion & Clifton and coming back Christmas morning to spend Christmas with us. They stopped by our house to pick up some gifts. Janet who loved Christmas was so excited and happy. As she was leaving, she said bye Mom and Joe, I love You, Merry Christmas, she gave us a big hug and a kiss and about one hour later she was dead due to a tragic accident on the Florida Turnpike.

The holidays are clearly some of the roughest times we can go through after losing people we love so much. The ways we deal with them are as individual as we are. In Joan's case the next Christmas after Janet's death I said to her, I don't know how you do it, although I can't read your heart and mind you seem to be able to handle this time of the year very well. You seem to have the same enthusiasm for Christmas as you always have. She said Joe I still have you, I have another daughter, I have a grandson, I have other family and friends that I love very much and I can't let my loss cause me to drag everyone's Christmas spirit down.She then said that Janet would be very upset with her if she let that happen, as she loved Christmas and would want everything associated with it and would want us all to celebrate it has we always had.

Holidays can be sad, but think about the person you are mourning and ask yourself how would they feel if you did not allow yourself to go on and continue to celebrate Christmas the same way you did when they were alive. I bet you that they would want you to enjoy family, and friends and the joy of the season as you did when they were here.

Janet we miss you so much and we love you dearly but in your honor we are going to celebrate just as if you were still with us, because we know that is what you would want us to do.

I know this is the message you have for us:

.

Keep my memories with you, for memories never die. I will be there with you, when you look across the sky. I will be there in the clouds, in the birds that fill the air, in the beauty of a fragrant rose, you will find my memory there-. You will feel me in the tenderness of a tiny baby's touch, you will hear me if you listen in the twilight's gentle hush. When your heart is heavy and you feel you are alone, just reach down deep inside you for your heart is now my home. I will always be with you, I will never go away, for I will live in your heart forever and a day.

You have two beautiful nephews that were born after you were gone, Carter & Griffin and I just know that you would have loved them dearly and been the best Aunt ever.